The New sexy Shampoo
by AppleJuiceMaster
Summary: Draco tries a new shampoo, and makes him realise something we already knew for a long, long time!
1. Dracolicious!

Disclaimer: I do not owwwwnnn anything! Except for Super Fresh Not For Muggles Shampoo! Shampooish!  
  
  
  
Draco walked to his *private* bathroom, having one towel in his right hand and a bottle of Super Fresh Not For Muggles Shampoo in the other. He took a shower, and washed his hair, while singing 'Yellow Submarine'. (The only good thing Muggles ever invented.)  
  
Moaning 'Oh yess yeessss yeeaaassss!!!' While rubbing the shampoo in his hair made him feel very *sexy*. He could understand why it wasn't for Muggles, this shampoo was waaay to *sexy* for Muggle hair! HA!!  
  
When he was done showering, dressing, you know the deal, he walked back to his *private* bedroom, and sat on his KINGSIZE bed. Oh what a wonderful life it was! He lay down, feeling weird in his head. 'Hmm... Must be the new shampoo! It cannot handle my *sexy* hair!' He grinned.  
  
'Of course it can't! Nothing can...' Draco continued talking about his sexyness for another fifteen minutes.  
  
'-AND THEN I SAID, WELL OF COURSE NOT, UGLY HEAD, I AM THE MASTER OF SEXYNESS!' He walked over to his 10 feet mirror. 'Whoeee!!' He looked in the mirror and whistled. 'I'm one sexy bitch!'  
  
He walked down to the "Great Hall". Draco didn't know what was so great about it. Of course, if he was there, it WAS a Great Hall, but without him... He shook his head. That silly Dumbledore.  
  
Draco almost bumped into Snape. 'Watch the hair!' Draco yelled at him. 'ONE hair out of place and my sexyness will be zero...' Snape looked at him oddly. 'I'm sexy and you know it!' Draco shouted before disappearing into the Great Hall, which now really was GREAT. Snape wondered if he has to tell Lucius about this or not.  
  
'HEY LOOK EVERYBODY, I AM HERE! THIS HALL IS NOW OFFICIAL GREAT!' Draco shouted, spreading his arms. 'The *SEXY* Prince Of Slytherin has arrived!!!' He felt so proud of himself. He is Draco Malfoy, the most *sexy* person ever existed. He is perfect. He is Draco Malfoy!  
  
'I am Draco Malfoy, the most *sexy* person ever existed. I am perfect. I am DRACO MALFOY!' He yelled. Everyone looked at him, in silence. 'You know it's true!' Draco said, making a 'Fonz' like pose. 'Ayyyy!' He had to admit, The Fonz was pretty sexy too. But The Fonz was nothing compared to himself, of course!  
  
He sighed. He could understand why everyone was looking at him like that. No one has ever seen such a sexy person. Of course, he's always been sexy, but with his new shampoo, he was even sexier! He would have never thought that that was possible, but hey, miracles do happen!  
  
Draco walked to his seat at the Slytherin table, knowing that everyone was looking at him, which was logical. If he would see someone so sexy as him, he'd be staring too. God, he was so sexy!  
  
'No wait...' He abruptly thought, 'I'm too sexy for the "normal" Slytherin table! I'm too sexy for everything!'  
  
Suddenly, a spotlight was focused on him, he turned around, his beautiful face in full glory. He was holding a microphone. Music began playing as he started to sing.  
  
I'm Too Sexy For My Love  
  
Too Sexy For My Love  
  
Love's Going To Leave  
  
  
  
  
  
Draco winked at the people who were staring at him.  
  
  
  
I'm Too Sexy For My Shirt  
  
Too Sexy For My Shirt  
  
So Sexy It Hurts  
  
He took of his cloak, knowing how sexy he was.  
  
And I'm Too Sexy For Milan  
  
Too Sexy For Milan  
  
New York And Japan  
  
He took off his grey vest.  
  
I'm Too Sexy For Your Party  
  
Too Sexy For Your Party  
  
No Way I'm Disco Dancing  
  
I'm A Model, Ya Know What I Mean  
  
And I Do My Little Turn On The Catwalk  
  
Yeah On The Catwalk  
  
On The Catwalk Yeah  
  
I Do My Little Turn On The Catwalk  
  
He turned around and faced the public again. 'I'm so sexy...' he thought, smiling.  
  
I'm Too Sexy For My Car  
  
Too Sexy For My Car  
  
Too Sexy By Far  
  
And I'm Too Sexy For My Hat  
  
Too Sexy For My Hat  
  
What Ya Think About That  
  
He threw off his black wizard hat.  
  
I'm A Model, Ya Know What I Mean  
  
And I Do My Little Turn On The Catwalk  
  
Yeah On The Catwalk  
  
On The Catwalk Yeah  
  
I Shake My Little Tush On The Catwalk  
  
He shook his ass, knowing how great he was.  
  
Too Sexy For My  
  
Too Sexy For My  
  
Too Sexy For My  
  
He removed his Slytherin tie, waving it above his head.  
  
I'm A Model, Ya Know What I Mean  
  
And I Do My Little Turn On The Catwalk  
  
Yeah On The Catwalk  
  
Yeah On The Catwalk Yeah  
  
I Shake My Little Tush On The Catwalk  
  
Draco unbuttoned his white shirt, many gasps were heard. He smirked, he hasn't trained his muscles for nothing!  
  
I'm Too Sexy For My Cat  
  
Too Sexy For My Cat  
  
Poor Pussy  
  
Poor Pussy Cat  
  
I'm Too Sexy For My Love  
  
Too Sexy For My Love  
  
Love's Going To Leave Me  
  
Dancing around like the sexy stud he was, throwing winks to good-looking girls.  
  
And I'm Too Sexy For This Song  
  
He picked up his clothes and walked out of the Great Hall, which suddenly lost his Greatness. Draco whistled while he walked down to his *private* bedroom and lay down on it again. 'That sure was some good shampoo!' He thought, before falling in sleep, exhausted from his *sexy* performance.  
  
  
  
  
  
~~~~ -Er- ... I was first going to make him get high from the shampoo, like I just did. I washed my hair and used some new shampoo, and I felt like I was sooo high! It was really weird! Yay for shampoo! Uhmm... Please review? ~~~~ 


	2. Luscious!

Lucius Malfoy walked around in his over-large manor, his nose in the air. Well, of course, even if no one's there, he's still just as egocentric as always. Logical. Of course logical. He is Lucius Malfoy.  
  
He walked down the stairs *The one with the pretty green fluffy carpet* when he suddenly tripped. He tried to grab something to hold on to, but it was too late. Our dear Lucius fell down the long, long, long stairs. After about 2 minutes of falling down the stairs, he was laying on the ground, completely messed up.  
  
He lay there for about 30 seconds, when he realised what happened. He stood up, dusting off his beautiful black robes. 'Damn it, why are there stairs so fucking long anyway!?! Who the fuck has such fucking long stairs... fuck it...' When no one was around, he liked to use Muggle obscenities, they sound tougher.  
  
  
  
Lucius shook his head, and walked on to the kitchen, where he was heading to BEFORE he fell of the damn stairs. He passed a large mirror, giving it a quick glance. His eyes widened when he realised what he had just seen. Lucius hurried back to the mirror and his jaw dropped.  
  
Sure, it was his reflection, but... His hair... what... his... his beautiful long, blonde hair... messed up... and... EEWWWWW... DIRTY!! He had a burning feeling in his eyes. He quickly grabbed some Floopowder, threw it in the fireplace that was there by complete coincidence, yelled 'BATHROOM! AND FUCKING HURRY UP!' and disappeared.  
  
Lucius took a quick shower, then prepared for the tricky part: his hair. He has NEVER had such dirty hair. It was just grossing him out. The sooner it was clean and smooth again, the better.  
  
He grabbed the first bottle of shampoo he saw. He looked at the name, seeing it was called "Super Fresh Not For Muggles Shampoo". Lucius stared. It was Draco's. But he was at Hogwarts. Lucius shrugged, Draco must have left it at home after the Christmas vacation.  
  
He washed his hair, taking a long, long time. A Malfoy has got to have his hair perfect. If not, he'd be a disgrace!  
  
After nursing his hair for about an hour, he sat down on the green armchair in the lounge room, his hair Malfoy-ish again. Lucius was glad no one else had seen him like that. What a humiliation that would be... He stood up and walked to another super large mirror, viewing himself in full size. 'God, I'm sexy!' He said to himself.  
  
Of course, he had always known this. But he never really experienced this kind of supreme sexiness. 'I should change my last name into 'Sexy' instead of Malfoy. Everyone had to call me 'Mr Sexy'!' Lucius grinned. 'Yeah. Lucius Sexy, famous Death Eater, ex Slytherin, right hand of The Dark Lord, and Most Sexiest Man Alive!'  
  
He got a wonderful idea. Everyone has to see his sexiness. Hmmm... where are a lot of people? HOGWARTS!!!!!! OF COURSE!! HOGWARTS!!! Ha! He could show his sexy hair at Severus Snape! He has always had incredible nasty hair. It was just... ew. Not a kind of hair-person a Malfoy would hang out with, but when he was at Hogwarts, Lucius sucked at Potion and needed his help. Oh well...  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~ IN DA MEANTIME ~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
Snape was sneering at the Gryffindors. 'Sure, go ahead, Longbottom, blow up another cauldron, fine with me. The thing is I don't think your fellow Gryffindors will be fine with it. Twenty points from Gryffindor house.' Neville Longbottom whimpered.  
  
  
  
Snape turned around, so no one could see him, and he laughed a triumph full laugh. Oh how he loved to take point from those damned goody-goody Gryffindors! In the middle of his laughing, he saw someone storming up to his classroom. Someone with long, blonde hair and black robes... Lucius Malfoy!!? What in the world would he be doin-  
  
The door slammed open, and indeed, Lucius Malfoy came in. Everyone stared at him. 'Father?!' Draco said, surprised. Snape turned around and faced him. 'What the fu-' 'Now, now, Severus, that's not very polite to say...' Lucius said. '...in presence of such a sexy man as me.' He added.  
  
The whole class stared at Lucius and then at Snape. Severus grabbed Lucius' sleeve and tried to pull him out of his classroom. 'DON'T TOUCH MY UBERSEXY ROBES!!!' He yelled, hitting Severus with his *sexy* snake cane. 'Ouch! Lucius what the FUCK are you doing?!!!'  
  
'It's Mr. Sexy for you, not-sexy-at-all-person!' Lucius commented, pulling himself out of Severus' grasp. 'You there, Draco!' He said to his son. 'Yes, Father?' 'You know what we need to do, don't you?' 'Damn right I know!'  
  
A spotlight shined at Draco and Lucius, who were suddenly standing on top of Snape's desk.  
  
'I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt...'  
  
  
  
  
  
~~~~Za end! Heh... yeah... looks like Lucius has got the 'Sexy-virus' now too! Review please!~~~~ 


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